<< [ Girl with a thorn in her side ] >>

I am not instantly recognisable

but not a duplicate

I refuse to fall down the diaryland rabbit hole of razorblades, elegiac beauty, smoking cigarettes, being stoned in parking lots and ‘I miss you’, ‘all I ever do is miss you’

I would like to think there’s more

there has to be more

I don’t / have never cut

I don’t / have never overdosed on aspirins

I don’t / have never suffered from anorexia

but this doesn’t mean I haven’t come close to them..

or thought about them..

& I do read about them

& I do find some of the writers who demonstrate them beautiful

I just want this to be about me, after all every mind galvanizes differently

& yes, I have been depressed

I have had my heart broken

I have felt anaemic & lonely

but I just couldn’t write of these things alone

I think I would burst

so to tell you about me?

a lot can be discovered from my quotations, lyrics, rings & otherwise..

music is my radar & I sometimes think all of these rock stars could say it better than I ever could, ever would

my words often lack poignancy, I often contradict myself

sometimes I just want to slash black lines over everything I’ve wrote & start with blank paper

I guess that’s what is wanting to write well..

I am a dork at heart; I like misfits, people who break free from the mould

It’s ironic not to want to ‘conform’ as everyone does to some hierarchy

but if someone tells me to do something..

it’s probably likely that I won’t do it

I like sex

& candy

carte dor icecream

british sitcom

& eyeliner

& theology

& violating law songwriters

& there’s a lot I dislike too..

all in all this is me

lamenting elegies of the girl who has shed tears

smiled sugar

lost boys

plot lines

often herself

stealing from the rich, giving to the poor

in love with the idea of love without having to

& writing catapulted thoughts at 1am

this is my diary

there’s a cross on the right hand top screen if you want to leave

ways of contacting me if you want to read on

but I try to be truthful

honest

unmerciful

;-)

-//

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